a year of missing.in.action

After a year+ of taking a break from blogging...I'm now back with a new spirit...ho yeah! Yes, I've been abandoning my blog but I will from now on find the time to write again *sure or nottttt? : p

A lot has happened & I can't thank the Almighty enough for my blessed life. I'm not gonna complain & dwell so much on my shortfall bcos I know for a fact that I'm far more lucky than those outside there.

Loads to update y'all...so stay tune (ermmm, ada ke org baca my blog sebenarnya?)

Blogging is mind boggling

How do 1 find the time to blog everyday? I'm really amazed with bloggers out there who passionately update their blog every single day...& I do know some are being paid to blog, how exciting!

I personally find blogging...very therapeutic. If only I can find the time to blog more, I would've blogged about a wholeeeee lotta things. Maybe I should start blogging seriously, perhaps in my next entry? Not now of course, am busy *yes, saya budak banyak alasan : p

Finally, I've updated my blog after 2 months of silence...this is for self motivation nonetheless! Adik Chu-na in reading, I hope you're happy now...

L.O.V.E

I've been bad to my blog for neglecting it...kesian fabrainbow, so I better write sumthin otherwise, it doesn't fit the purpose of having a blog kan? + I figured, since Ma has just updated her blog dgn panjangnya...I feel the need to do so, nak sama naik jugak! : p

Spent last weekend at Tok Mama & Tok Papa's house (my in-laws) in Sg. Buloh doing absolutely nothing, well not quite. Aimar as usual made a mess with the giant Thomas train set given by my hubby's ex-boss. Zariya, on the other hand...went around the house inspecting every drawer she could open (aka "mengakah" bak kata org Tganu) to look for anything interesting, which of cos also includes a drawer in our room where hubby kept segala mcm khazanah i.e. letters, pics, cards when we were dating back then. It was all my scribbles to him...those were the days when we exchanged love letters, cards. Flashback to when I first got to know him...

We met in the year 2000 (the Millennium), new year, new century, new chapter in both our lives. Both of us were single, so it was just perfect. We were neighbours for years, we live in the same neighbourhood but on different roads. For the obvious reason, we didn't notice each other due to our age difference...not that our age gap is too far apart (only 4 years), but u know...when I was in standard 6, he's in form 4...so mana nak pandangnya budak sekolah rendah kan? I supposed I was still an ugly duckling at that time lah, still a lil bit tomboy-ish. His brother & I went to the same primary school, so we sort of know each other...tahu siapa, duduk mana, tapi tak berapa kenal...if u know what I mean?

I was in KDU college & he was in Lim Kok Wing. We first met at his family's cafe in Kelana Jaya. I knew he was helping out there...so to speak, yes, I took the first move. Like perigi cari timba only? Hahaha, but not quite...he did asked me out first. To say that it was love at first sight is rather too much but...it was "fond" at errr...first talk? He was very chatty so he really put me at ease & made me comfortable. It was just a short sesi suai kenal but the very next day, he called & asked me out on a date. Boy, I was the happiest girl on the block that day, so happy that I nearly peed in my pants...*baru ajak keluar dah happy sesangat, over!

Our first date was at Sushi King (Sec 14, near Jaya Supermarket). I personally think it was the best place for us. Not only the place was not crowded but if u're a fan of sushi / japanese food...then it's kinda sexy to go on a first date at some sushi place, well at least to me. It was the most fun, casual & comfortable date, the both of us just cannot stop talking! After our first date...we would meet up almost everyday. He would either send me to the college / picked me up from my workplace (I was waitressing for some pocket money so that we can date more) & some days when we don't see each other, we would be hanging on the phone (rumah sejengkal pun nak ckp telipon lagi!). I knew at that time, LOVE is in the air & thank god, I was not alone. 3 weeks after our first date (yes, only 3 weeks...that's how comfy we are with 1 another), on May 28th 2000, right infront of my house, in his car...we confessed that we were so in love with one another & decided to get married...hahaha, NOT! Well, we decided to take our relationship to the next level, what seemed to be more appropriate at our age (I was only 19 at that time)...we became a couple (girlfriend / boyfriend that is).

2 years of courting as girlfriend & boyfriend, it's still not good enough for us...we took the relationship to a higher level, we got engaged. It wasn't easy since we were in a long distance engagement, I was in Perth studying & he was in Msia working. But...that didn't deteriorate our love towards each other. We were very determined that once I'm back here for good & got a job...we will get married. I guess we were just meant to be, on April 30th 2004...we became husband & wife. Like how the typical malay mag would put it "dengan hanya sekali lafaz, Almaiyah sah menjadi isteri Zulfadli". So yes, we have been...up till now Alhamdulillah, still... happily married : )

Of cos, being married is not easy. Our marriage is not all that flowery, a bed of roses. We have our ups & downs. I cried a lot & laughed a lot too. I would portray it as a rainbow rollercoaster ride, but one thing's for sure...I wouldn't want to ride in this rollercoaster with anyone else. He is afterall my choice. I chose to marry him, to be with him. The day that we were solemnized, I knew that my life would change forever, was I prepared for the changes? To say that I was fully prepared...well, hell no but I was somewhat prepared to a certain extent. Even after all these years (11 to be precise), I'm still very much in love with the man that I'm married to & not even a day will go by w/out us saying "I love you" to each other. I don't know what the future holds, but I do pray to the Almighty...to always protect my marriage & jauhkan from any harm that might come upon us. I believe, our children will leave us one day to have their own life which in the end, as how it begins...there will only be us. As cliche as it sounds...there's nothing more that I want but to grow old with my husband. This is what I call...LOVE

*u & me, just us 2*

Family is where the heart is

I was not an easy child to handle, orang ckp, middle child selalu macam tu. From birth, Ma had a tough time with me since I was a colic baby for the first 3 months. Then, the following year...she had my brother who obviously took away most of Ma's attention on me since this lil creature (my bro that is) just started his life & I'm already a year older...so haruslah I jadi mangsa & succumbed to this unwanted situation...like I have a choice right? *Eh, marah nampak? Hahaha, No, no...I'm not, I love my bro to bits, how can I? Dah rezeki Ma nak dpt anak + me to get a bro, so why should I?

So let's continue. I grew up & my time was spent mostly with my maid. At times, well I do up til now consider my maid as my mom...well, 2nd mom lah more appropriate. Due to lack of attention & of cos the temptation the outside world is offering (hey, I'm a curious child, so it's only natural for me to explore)...I became quite a difficult person. I like to go out a lot cos my parents hardly have the time to take us out. I don't blame Ma & Pa for not having the time for us. They're working extra hard to make sure that my siblings & I get the best out of what they can afford. Afterall, they're just govt servants & to raise 7 of us...that cost quite an amount.

Back then, I absolutely hate going to any family events / meeting up with my cousins since most of them are brainy & sah2xlah I'll be compared to them. I also have to listen to some "pedas" remarks that never failed to make my telinga berasap from my aunties & uncles about being different (since I don't wear tudung like most of them) / criticism on how I should study more, get good grades. It was just too much for me, so since I don't like it...I will try to avoid it as much as I can. My friends was more like a family to me, they're cooler anyway cos they listens to me + they never judge me. As long as we know how to have fun together, everything else does not matter. At that time I felt like, who needs a family when you have friends?

I started to see the importance of being with my family more when my grandfather passed away. But, that was not really an eye-opener for me...it was in a little way only. Soon after, I broke up with my first serious boyfriend...errr, serious ke? No lah, not that serious but he was my first love. That, really changed me. Not only it changed how I see things, it also showed me who my real friends are. Kawan untuk keluar, hu-ha (as what Ma always say), having fun...memanglah ramai, but quality friends...when I was down, when I needed them the most, they're just not there. One thing's for sure...my family is always around. Not that they know what's actually going on / I share with them my problem, but the fact that they're always around...it helps...hmm subtly?

Now that I'm a mom, I can more or less understand the heartache that I've put my parents through. But please, I was not a wild child ok...yg tak tahu baik buruk / halal haram, I was not all that bad. I do have my own principles & boundaries. Like I said, I was more like a curious child...always wanna go out & explore the outside world. I couldn't thank my parents enough for giving me the fundamentals, hantar pegi sekolah agama (1/2 day after school) belajar mengaji...tajwid, tauhid. I believe no matter how modern / liberal you are, this is highly important so that you won't lose track & in any sticky situation, you will always remember to go back to the religion rather than drinking / partying. I'm also lucky that my parents has never force me to wear tudung & give me + siblings the freedom to choose our own path. Though my mom has sort of turned into a new leaf after attending so many agama classes, everything we do...she'll relate to religion now or...she'll comment on our fb with some religious quote but not even once she ask me to wear tudung. Once in a while tanya tu adalah, as usual...she's being a concern mom, kenapa anak dia yg sorang ni up til now tak dpt2x lagi hidayah utk bertudung? Tunggu ye Ma, insya'allah...one day. I have promised myself, not until I'm fully ready...when I'm satisfied with my amalan, I'm confident the Almighty will show me the way, sooner or later, Amin : )

I'm truly blessed to have a wonderful parents & awesome siblings. I wouldn't know how my life would be w/out any of them. No matter how far we are...like my eldest sister who is now settled in a far far away land living in a huge mansion in Kuantan, ok...ok...it's not that far, saja over (sorry Kaklong), we are always there for 1 another. I definitely breathe & live my family : ) *am all tears now...

*happy bunch*

Just gotta write sumthin...

Thought I would have more time to actually sit down & write sumthin in here but...NOT! Been so busy today, balik rumah...jgn haraplah I get to have some "me" time, what more to fiddle with my iPad since Aimar will very much take control over it. Once you're a mom...it's not just about you anymore but am not complaining. It's even more better & nicer to have a lil person that clings at you, wanting you...no matter how zombied I look / how smelly I am...they're like a rainbow that filled my life, so I'm blessed. I thank the Almighty every single day for giving me my au pair...they are indeed the best gift any mother could asked for : )

*aimar + zariya*

Today...I started blogging

After much persuasion, hesitation...I decided to start blogging today. I'm such a newbie in here, so bear with me. Starting from today onwards, this space will be my avenue to express my thoughts, feelings...my rainbow days. I'll probably write more tomorrow but today is more to launch it since I'm such a kiasu to have this date as my 1st entry...xoxo.